Ask yourselves this: is the ability to Make Up Stuff That Is Not True and write about it for popular entertainment an appropriate qualification for holding forth on issues of global importance? Michael Crichton thinks so, and unfortunately it would appear that he is right.
The ability to ignore glaring facts and remake reality in a more compliant image - so valuable when writing science-fiction novels - is among the skills required of a first-rate propagandist: just ask L. Ron Hubbard [1].
It didn't matter that Crichton's stories about reintroducing dinosaurs using DNA preserved in amber were full of the most appalling bilge, because they were clearly just stories (and not terribly good stories at that, although I admit that the first film was a lot of fun). It does, however, matter rather a lot that his new stories are just as full of nonsense and just as guilty of ignoring the facts; because his new stories are about real issues and not as apparently fictional.
Ryan Somma, who submitted this particular LOLquack, will tell you all about it.
Cheers, Ryan!
[1] Yes, that's right, he's dead: but that ought not to prevent him from answering, given his extraordinary abilities and complete lack of need for a body.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Jurassic farce...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Homeopathic truth in press releases
I have been very lax recently. More than one person has been so good as to submit LOLquack material in the past couple of weeks and I haven't managed to post it; an unforgiveable lapse on my part. In an effort to begin remedying this deficiency, I present the first of a number of images sent to me by jdc, this one apparently via Gimpy's blog, although I haven't been able to find the pic there!
Do go and have a look at the story surrounding their latest press release. The Society of Homeopaths are a mendacious bunch of bastards as a matter of course, but they've really excelled themselves this time. For an interesting insight into the crazy world of backstabbing quack politics and the position occupied by the Society of Homeopaths therein, try this.
Submitted by jdc
Thursday, November 15, 2007
OMG! Orful Poo Laydee be bothrin mah kitteh!
Yeah, we've been far too serious recently. Thankfully, troubledjoe has dropped by to lighten the mood with this poor li'l kitteh...
Should any of the major players in nutribollocks woo-mongering set eyes on this, they might realise that there's a relatively untapped market out there for animal nutrimysticism, and then no litter tray would be safe and I'd have that on my conscience forever.
Do I really want to be responsible for "You Are What You Eat... And So Is Your Pet!" - where some basket-case with a mail-order PhD tries to persuade a Rottweiler to forego the unhealthy meat-based diet that makes its poo smell so bad in favour of organic lentil and celeriac casserole?
Hmmm... maybe that's not such a bad idea after all.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Magik watuh onli wurk with magik wurdz
You don't want that to happen, now do you? After all, if the labels were swapped over, there'd be no way anyone could tell which remedy was in which bottle. And that's straight from the mouth of Kate Chapman of the Society of Homeopaths. I mean, instead of dosing yourself with drops of water from Bottle A, you could end up dosing yourself with... OTHER water from Bottle B. The consequences are unimaginable.
So, if you believe that maybe, just maybe, telling people that you can protect them from fatal diseases with magic water might not be a clever thing to do; if you consider that ministering to sufferers from diseases such as AIDS and malaria with witchcraft whilst promoting the idea that "conventional" remedies for these conditions is poisoning the patients is perhaps just a tad unwise; if you are a UK resident who is concerned that state funding for superstitious mediaeval nonsense by one of the richest nations in the world is helping to promulgate a dangerous ignorance and ultimately resulting in preventable deaths in 3rd-world countries... SIGN THIS PETITION TODAY!
Monday, November 12, 2007
New hope for EMS sufferers!
Up 'til now, you would have had to spend an absolute fortune on all sorts of strange devices (that don't freakin' do anything) in order to find some relief from the symptoms of Electromagnetic Sensitivity... but not any more! LOLQuacks takes pleasure in demonstrating a wholly natural and effective remedy for this most pernicious of ailments:
Problem solved! We can encourage our children to eat healthily and at the same time mitigate against the dreadful effects of Evil Wireless Death Rays in our schools... what a result!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
In His infinite compassion, Jesus said...
Jehovah's Witnesses - you've gotta love 'em.
Here's an excellent blog post on this tragic story.
And yes, I've probably gone too far... but lest ye think me completely lacking in any fellow-feeling, there is a resource for ex Jehovah's Witnesses and those JW's who are having trouble dealing with the issues raised by their faith that you can find by clicking HERE
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Introducing this week's Special Guest Star
The pleasure and the pain of starting up a site like this is that when people send you stuff, you find yourself introduced to a whole new world of of painful agenda-led bad science and fakery. I hadn't even heard of today's LOLquack subject until the pic was submitted, but it's time to introduce you to...
Steven Milloy! Tobacco and oil-industry stooge, global warming denialist and campaigner for the rights of big business, he is the founder of JunkScience, a website dedicated to the proposition that anyone who considers anthropogenic global warming to be a reality is in fact an environmental terrorist hell-bent on destroying Truth, Justice and the American Way.
Nice.
Further to this, Mr. Milloy has created a competition for anyone who can scientifically prove that global warming is a reality. He's even putting up $125,000 of his own money as a prize.
Sounds like the heartfelt advocacy of a true believer prepared to put his money where his mouth is, wouldn't you say? Well, don't bet on it!
Thanks to Ryan Somma for this submission, for furthering my education, and for adding yet another person to the list of bad-science advocates that I lose sleep over...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
There is no spoon...
No site dedicated to quacks, crackpots and charlatans would be complete without a visit from the Amazing Israeli Spoon-Bender, and here he is!
(I have twelve thousand lawyers on standby.)
Submitted by Heraldis - nice one!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Lassie is yesterday's news
Monday, October 22, 2007
I'm sensing a disturbance in... your wallet
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Hang on... HOW toxic are you?!
Ah, the lovely Sarah Beeny - SHE knows what's good for you, and it's everything "natural" and honest, rather than those nasty man-made chemicals that are making us all so toxic. So, party on down with the herbs and stay away from the chemicals; I've got a nice aloe-vera-and-aconite face cream waiting just for you...
Submitted by domino
You are feeling verrrrry... gullible....
Submitted by grumpyolddog - and destined to become a classic, I feel.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Doctor... Who?
Almost, but not quite.
Submitted by "Emmer" - not a bad first effort, I'm sure you'll agree!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
You've all thought it, you know you have...
Submitted by vbloke, who clearly has a stronger stomach than most.
Actually, whilst I'd like to pretend to be dreadfully disapproving, I tried this on Day One but discovered my photoshop skillz weren't up to the jobbie! Fair play to vbloke for pipping me to the proverbial.
Hi everybody!
I can't *believe* I never thought of using Dr. Nick Riviera... I will leave a reasonable interval before stealing this idea and captioning him myself!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Truth in advertising
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Needles and pins...
Papal inflatability...
Edit: Posted @ loltheist - w00t!
Makin' ur kidz clevuh
Ah, fish oil, is there anything it can't do?
Actually, yes
Submitted by Andrew Clegg
Krugel and unusual punishment
Danie Krugel invented a wonderful "matter orientation system machine", operating on the principle of quantum sciencey things and powered by a battery hidden in his moustache, which can find anybody anywhere in the world with nothing but a DNA sample of some kind. It's really, really true. Most recently, he has been sticking his nose into the Madeleine McCann case. I expect he'll feature here really quite a lot, particularly if anyone can find any new photos of him...
Submitted by Andrew Clegg of the badscience.net forums - thanks Andrew!
Dr. Edward Bach...
He made flower remedies, but d'you know what? In a clinically-conducted trial survey questionnaire study carried out by top sciency people, it was revealed that not one single flower ever got better as a result!
So with no further ado - and thanks to grumpyolddog - lolquacks presents:
